I dread small talk.
“What have you been up to?”
“How’s work?”
“How have you been?”
I know these questions are well intentioned. They’re how we begin conversations. But to me, they often feel like a formality. We ask because we’re supposed to, and we answer because that’s what’s expected.
Five minutes later, we’ve exchanged updates without really learning anything about each other.
I’d much rather skip all of that.
Tell me about your childhood.
Tell me about a memory that still makes you smile years later.
Do you think there’s life after death?
(Haha maybe this is too intense)
Do you believe in aliens?
Has anything ever happened that made you question everything you thought you knew?
Those are the conversations I remember.
Maybe I’m in the minority, but talking about ideas has always felt easier than talking about myself.
I’d rather invite you over, brew us a nice hot cup of elaichi chai, and deep dive into topics like the human consciousness, the subconscious mind, spirituality or the possibility that we’re not alone in the universe than spend an hour explaining what I’ve been doing for work lately.
The best conversations I’ve ever had were never about promotions, deadlines or weekend plans.
They were the ones that wandered.
One question led to another. We lost track of time. We disagreed, laughed, changed each other’s minds and left feeling like we’d actually connected.
Those conversations seem increasingly rare.
We’re constantly communicating, yet so much of it feels transactional. We exchange updates, react to stories, send memes and ask each other how we’re doing. But somewhere between staying connected and staying busy, it feels like we’ve forgotten how to simply wonder together.
Not every conversation needs to become philosophical.
Sometimes asking someone how they’ve been is enough.
But I do wish we made more room for conversations that don’t have a destination. The kind where nobody’s checking the time, nobody’s trying to impress anyone and nobody’s following a script.
The kind where you leave knowing how someone thinks, not just what they do.
In a world where we’re talking more than ever, I sometimes wonder if we’ve quietly lost the art of saying something meaningful.
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